📘 The Tale of Sir Deficit and the Silly Tariff

 

Once upon a time in the Kingdom of Numbers, there lived a proud and shouty knight named Sir Deficit.

Every week, he bought 10 apples from the Land of EU.
But the EU only bought 6 apples from him.

Sir Deficit didn’t like this.

“This isn’t fair!” he huffed.
“They sell us more than we sell them! That must mean they’re charging us lots of extra!”

So he grabbed a big crayon and did some scribbling:

“We’re short by 4 apples. We bought 10. So 4 divided by 10 is… 40%! That must be the tax they’re charging us!”

He looked very pleased with himself.

Then he shouted,

“To make it fair, I’ll just charge them 20%! That’s half of 40! That’s how maths works, right?”

Everyone in the kingdom blinked.

“But Sir,” said Lady Logic, “That’s not how tariffs work. You’re just making numbers up!”

“Silence!” barked Sir Deficit. “I’ve divided something, that means it’s official!”

So he added his silly 20% tax.

But the price of apples went up.
The shops got sad.
Even the EU stopped buying his apples completely.

And who came stomping in?
Sir Inflation.
He was not friendly.

Finally, a young girl named Sense said:

“Maybe next time we let someone who’s actually good at maths do the sums?”

From that day on, Sir Deficit had to wear a hat that said "Ask Before You Add", and he was banned from making up numbers without help.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why Aston Villa (and Football) Needs a Reset on PSR

Image
  https://chng.it/Mt9Wj6Q92J   If you support Aston Villa, or honestly just care about the soul of English football, you’ve probably spent this summer asking yourself the same question I have: where is the sense in any of this? I’m writing today not as some insider or paid journalist, but as a fan who’s had enough—and as the author of a Change.org petition that’s trying to do something about it. If you’re tired of seeing clubs like Villa forced to sell their best players and even their women’s team just to balance the books, read on . And if you agree, please, please add your name to the petition. The Reality Behind PSR: Ambition Punished, Not Rewarded Here’s the dirty secret: the only reason the so-called "Big Six" became what they are is because they were allowed to spend big before the rules came in. Now, Villa and other ambitious clubs are told, "You can’t do what we did. You have to stay in your lane. You can’t dream bigger unless you already make more money tha...
Read more

The myth of health tourism and the NHS

Image
In the heat of political debate, few issues are as frequently distorted as immigration and its relationship to the NHS. Among the most persistent and emotionally charged narratives is that of so-called "health tourism"—the idea that people travel to the UK solely to exploit free healthcare, straining already stretched NHS resources. It’s a claim that surfaces time and again in tabloid headlines and political soundbites. But when examined closely, the evidence simply doesn’t hold up. Since 2015, most migrants coming to the UK on a visa longer than six months have been required to pay the Immigration Health Surcharge (IHS). As of 2024, this charge stands at £1,035 per year for most adults, with a reduced rate of £776 for students and children. This is paid upfront for the entire length of the visa—before a migrant even sets foot in the UK. Importantly, paying the surcharge doesn’t exempt them from taxes; migrants working in the UK also contribute through income tax and Nationa...
Read more

Truth, Headlines, and the Vikings: Why Media Literacy Matters More Than Ever

Image
 In an age of viral outrage and scrolling headlines, it’s easy to forget a simple truth: not everything we read tells the full story. This has never been clearer than in the recent coverage of guidance from The Brilliant Club, an educational charity that supports underprivileged students. A headline from GB News proclaimed that “Vikings were ‘not all white and some were Muslim’ – pupils to be told in effort to ditch ‘Eurocentric ideas’.” That one sentence, crafted for maximum emotional impact, provoked exactly the kind of furious response it seemed designed to ignite. The article claimed that tutors working in schools were being encouraged to move away from traditional views of Viking history and consider evidence that Vikings were more culturally and genetically diverse than once assumed. It referred to archaeological finds like Islamic coins and a ring inscribed with “Allah,” discovered in Viking graves, and suggested that some individuals may have adopted new religious identiti...
Read more